the 7th Day

Last night was the 7th day since my mum had depart this earthly life for a life in heaven with GOD Almighty. Its a painful day for us at home. My dad requested that we have a simple dinner meal together at home before we said our prayers to mum. Meal was cooked by my eldest sister, Wendy. A simple meal indeed. For the food and dishes that she cooked are dishes which my mum so often cooked for us. However, the taste is far from mum's mastery skills.

After the meal, we seat together as a family in the living room awaiting for the time to pray. Solemn night for us. For usually when we seat together in the living room as a family. The focus is usually on my kids and with mum smiling in the gentle expression that i so much recalled of. The time arrived, we all seat in front of my mum's photo started the rosary prayer. For she recited the rosary prayers so everyday for its her favourite.

As the prayer goes, so much pain inside of me. The pain of not seeing her humanly figure again. THE smile that never fails to brighten up my days. She is my pillar of strength and hope. So how should i move on from here? I am no longer sure of my objective in life. Some had told me that i am self-centered for I did not even focus on my own family. From my stand, i am just helpless and in pain. For all these years, i breath the air for her. My achievements are for her. I strive my very best for her. To make her proud and to honour her. Many things to me, are so much not important anymore. For i have lost what is the most precious "thing" in my life.

Mummy, please forgive me for the wrong doings that i have done upon you. I love you most deeply.

Yours faithful & always son,

Mark Tan